I Spy
by 1010'jin
Summary: Accepting a challenge from Naruto with his usual ‘hn’ and scowl, Sasuke resigns himself to take on a dare that would, little did he know, turn his life upside down. SasuIno M later.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Sometimes, Sasuke is amazed at how his rivalry with Naruto is so similar with Kakashi and Gai's. So, accepting a challenge from the blonde with his usual 'hn' and scowl, Sasuke resigns himself to take on a dare that would, little did he know, turn his life upside down. SasuIno

Me: Go Sasuke-kun!!

Sasuke: … -- … Hn?

Sakura: Oh, don't be a sour-puss, Sasuke-kun. C'mon, I'll say it with you!!

Sasuke: Fine.

Together: Our beloved author does not own us. We own ourselves.

I Spy…

In the quiet hours of early morning, the villagers of Konohagakure could easily hear the indignant squawks from the blonde Kyuubi container—yep, you guessed it—still the number one loud mouth, Uzumaki Naruto from deep within the training areas.

Team 7 was at it again…up at 5, done at noon—training nonstop with their old sensei, Hatake Kakashi, who had amazingly found himself a woman. To the boys, it had come as a huge surprise that Hitarashi Anko arrived at the Jonin headquarters with an engagement band on her left ring finger, but Haruno Sakura, the head medic at the hospital, had figured it out a while back (and rubbed it in repeatedly just to have something to jab them with).

Pride stung, Uzumaki Naruto challenged the young kunoichi to a spar…and was defeated miserably, much to his rival's amusement. (Yes, Uchiha Sasuke had returned, and on his own will, too. He had been readily accepted back and quickly fell into the routines. The Rookie Nine were finally nine once again).

Sasuke joined the fun, and later Kakashi joined, and soon it became their ritual, even after they all joined the Jônin ranks. Of course, Naruto was Naruto, and Sasuke was Sasuke, and the two ended up beating the hell out of one another each time before Sakura intervened and healed them up so they could go at their throats again.

So Team 7 was training again, except for the Sakura, who had been recruited for an important mission not an hour into training. Kakashi situated himself on a tree branch, his orange Icha Icha book nowhere in sight (thanks to his fiancée), and watched the spar.

When Sasuke and Naruto finally ran out of energy four hours later, they continued to swap insults as they lay motionless on the ground.

"Oi, oi, Sasuke-teme."

"Hn?" This was as far as many people knew of the Uchiha's word range.

"…boy, you're grouchy today, ain't'cha?"

"Buzz off, dobe."

"I'll ignore that, bastard. Sheesh, did Anko feed your Icha Icha collection to her snakes, too?"

A sigh.

"Naruto, I don't even have those revolting hentai books."

"Well, you're the only one. Even Neji has one."

"Uchihas don't go that low."

"Really?"

"…_Really_."

"Calm down, you two," Kakashi's lazy voice called out, "I swear, you sound like an old married couple sometimes."

"Awk!! Kakashi-sensei, I resent that!"

"We know you do, Naruto-dobe." Sasuke snorted.

"I am never gonna be married to this ice cube! Nuh-uh! Hinata-chan and I are fine the way we are, thank you very much."

"At least you two aren't like Shikamaru and Ino," Kakashi muttered, "Their arguments are so irritating sometimes."

"But Ino isn't dating Shikamaru!" Naruto protested. "They're just old friends."

"Hn."

"Aw, shut yer trap, Uchiha. For crying out loud, would it kill to have a regular conversation that doesn't have any insults in it?"

"I doubt it, idiot."

"SEE!?" Naruto sat up in a huff, his face in full pout mode. Sasuke sat up too, plucking leaves from his raven locks. Naruto stared at Sasuke with such intensity that when he glanced over, Sasuke didn't look away.

"What is it, Naruto?"

"…are you gay?"

Sasuke sputtered, and then glared at the blonde with as much spite as he could muster.

Naruto grinned foxily, his azure eyes sparkling innocently. "What? You are, aren't you?"

"NO!" Sasuke managed to spit out, still angry and taken aback. (AN: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST PEOPLE WHO ARE, FYI!!)

"I have to agree with Naruto on this one, Sasuke," Kakashi shrugged apologetically, "'Cause I've never seen you with a girl _or_ guy for that matter. Besides, you've never acted interested."

"Showing emotion like that gets you in trouble!" Sasuke confirmed, leaning against the tree Kakashi was situated upon.

"Oh, I don't think so. 'Sides, Anko keeps me safe." Kakashi grinned, and Sasuke and Naruto fell over anime-style.

"Well…um, yeah. Anyways, Sasuke-teme, I think you should get laid or somethin'," Naruto announced cheerfully, oblivious to the hot blush that was currently coating his cheeks.

WHACK!!

"ITAI!!" Naruto protested, holding his head where Sasuke had pounded him. "What was that for?"

"For you being so vulgar in your already limited vocabulary, dobe." Sasuke scowled.

"Hey, hey! It's not my fault you've never seen a girl nude! N-Nande? You mean it's true?" Naruto's jaw fell open at the sight of Uchiha Sasuke turning an interesting shade of tomato-red.

"Shut up," Sasuke muttered, throwing a kunai half-heartedly at Naruto, who caught it easily.

"Sasuke! You've gotta do somethin' about that, seriously! Don't you agree, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Depends on what you're thinking—and if I know you, the one who studied abroad with the famous perverted frog sannin, it's not gonna be good." Kakashi shook his head.

"…it's not too bad! Ero-sennin does it all the time!"

"You mean peeking in the women's hot springs?"

"Bingo! Sasuke-teme, that's what you gotta do! Dattebayo!"

"No way." Sasuke crossed his arms, adamant about his decision.

"Aww, c'mon, Sasuke. It's the next best thing! I mean, if Hinata'll do it with me, why can't you peek? Jeez, I thought you Uchihas were good at everything!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto hid his grin; Sasuke was falling into his trap.

"Oh, you know. I thought you guys were pros at being stealthy and everything. I guess you're not as good as you seem to be. Wow, Kakashi-sensei, guess it means that I'm better than Sasuke!" Naruto gave an exaggerated wink to his sensei, who immediately understood what was happening.

"Oh, certainly, Naruto. I used to do it occasionally myself. Too bad, Sasuke. I thought you were my best pupil."

"I was." Sasuke grumbled.

"Was." Naruto reminded him gleefully, looking like a little boy who had gotten candy.

"Shut up."

"Oooh, is itty bitty Sasuke chicken? Baaawk, bawk bawk bawk!!"

"NARUTO!!" Sasuke roared, getting to his feet. Naruto stood also.

"Admit it, Sasuke. You're too scared to peek."

"I am not."

"Then prove it." Naruto lifted an eyebrow, and Sasuke stalled.

"…What?"

"I said, prove it."

"……how?" He muttered, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes anywhere but the grinning teacher and student.

"It's not good to go so soon, 'cause it'll be busy, and they'll be bound to see you. In an hour, though, there'll only be a couple. Hopefully, if you're lucky, they'll be some hot chicks."

"What do I do after I look?"

Naruto faked a hurt gasp. "Ah! Sasuke! You hurt me so! You get to know them, of course!"

"I have to stalk them to find their names?" Naruto broke into peals of laughter. "What's so funny?" Sasuke demanded.

"Not _that_ kind of 'get to know them'! I mean, come back every day to see if they're there!" Sasuke paled at the implication.

"You mean their _bodies_?" He hissed, his voice raising an octave. "I have to become a perv and--?"

"Chill, Sasuke-teme. All guys are horn-dogs…don't act like you don't know what you mean. There's gotta be some girl out there that you've got your little Sasuke set on."

Sasuke was silent. There was, but…

"So there is! AHA!!!"

"Alright, there is. So?"

"I'll get Ero-sennin to put you and her in his new book! It'll be great! I gotta tell him! See ya, Sasuke! Bye, Kakashi-sensei! Don't forget to go in ten minutes!!"

"NARUTO!! MATTE!!" Sasuke's words fell on deaf ears, and he sighed, before connecting eyes with Kakashi's. Then, Sasuke felt a chill run up his spine as Kakashi started smirking evilly. He took a step back.

"Oh no…"

"Oh, _yes_…"

Me: You like? I've got more ideas, but I need to know if you wanna know what happens next. You should know the pairing, but oh well. Find out in the next episode what will befall Sasuke and his secret crush! Dun-dun-duuuuuh!!!

Sasuke: You sound like the dobe.

Naruto: OI!!

Sasuke: -smirk- I didn't say _you_ were the dobe, but oh well…dobe.

Me: Cough cough. Well, considering the pairing this fic is listed under, you obviously know who Sasuke has his sights on.

Sasuke: And you people who loathe my true love? BAH!!

So……review, please.

VVV

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	2. Chapter 2

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_I Spy_

(Chapter II)

_Operation-Break-Into-The-Hot-Springs-And-Hopefully-Not-Get-Caught_

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Sasuke cracked open one eye slowly, and then quickly shut it. He lay in the same position in bed for a couple more moments before cursing and throwing back the covers, wishing he owned curtains for the godforsaken pieces of glass.

It was too early in the morning for even his tastes, and he could barely get any sleep. Almost all night he had been tossing and turning, rolling Naruto's idiotic idea around until it didn't make any sense. Then again, when did it—or Naruto, for that matter—make any sense?

Never. That's when.

"Rise and shine, gorgeous! It is your lucky and incredibly great day today!" Naruto sang as he sashayed into Sasuke's bedroom, ripping open the windows and breathing in the brisk air. Turning around with a blinding grin he learned (unfortunately) from Rock Lee, Naruto declared, "We are getting you out of that pitiful sack you call a bed!"

Sasuke blinked blearily before glancing at his mattress. "What's wrong with it, stupid?"

Naruto fish-eyed him. "What's wrong with it? What's wrong with it? I'll tell you what's wrong, beef-brains! It's too small!"

"That's it? Good grief, I'm going back to bed." Sasuke stuffed his head back under the pillow, hiding his bloodshot eyes from the bright light that reflected from the windows and Naruto's teeth.

"Aww, you're no fun, Sasuke. Especially in the morning." Naruto danced over to the bed, undeterred, and hauled the limp shinobi from his comfort zone. "We're off!"

Sasuke yawned, too tired to argue or snap back. "Where to?"

"The shower, of course! You smell like you rolled around in the mud last night!"

"…remind me who wanted to have an extra training session an hour before midnight?"

"Ooh! I know! Meeee!"

"Exactly. Remind me again why I agreed to get out of bed just five hours later on my vacation to sneak into the women's hot springs to spy on a woman."

Naruto laughed sheepishly, raking his hand through his dizzyingly blonde hair. "That would be me again. Boy, I'm something, aren't I? Don't worry about it; I've recruited help for you!" Sasuke stopped moving, causing Naruto to trip.

"Help?" he parroted, his brow furrowing slowly.

"Uh…yeah. Help. Kami knows that you, the male 20-year-old virgin, can't sneak into the springs without getting caught."

"I'm 21 in exactly 2 days and an hour. Big deal. You're not much older than me, Naruto."

"Two weeks is a big deal!(*) I'm actually older than _The_ Uchiha Sasuke! Ain't that a hoot?"

"And more idiotic, too. Now get your ass out of my apartment before I throw it out of this window. How did you get in here anyways?" Sasuke blinked. "Damn. Remind me soon to get my spare key from you back."

"I'll give it back if you get into the shower now. We're running late! All the guys should be there soon!"

Another blink, a heartbeat, and a '…what?' later, Sasuke found himself drowning in his shower.

"I'm awake! I'm awake! Get out of my bathroom! Haven't you ever heard of decency?"

"Desa-whata-what?"

Sasuke sighed, shutting the door. "Sometimes I wonder how you ever got to be in-line for the Hokage title." Ignoring the indignant screeching and grunts, Sasuke then proceeded to shower, in which the author will not go into any detail. Instead, you will find yourself at the entrance of the women's hot springs. (Not in them, you curious little monkey. I will provide a gutter for your minds to roll around in later. )

Now, outside of the hot springs, a group of women were chatting. The group consisted of our favorite little Konoha kunoichi: heiress of the Hyuuga clan and not-so-weak-anymore **Hyuuga Hinata**; current sister-in-law to Hinata the infamous Weapons Mistress **Tenten**—married to the stoic bastard Neji (gee, I wonder how she did that. I'll have to make a note to ask her); the impressive and brilliant Sand kunoichi, elder sister of the Sand Siblings, **Sabaku Temari**; the apprentice of the prestigious Godaime and Head Medic **Haruno Sakura**; and finally we come to her childhood friend **Yamanaka Ino**, right hand man—er, woman, sorry—to Morino Ibiki in the Torture-Interrogations unit and proud owner of the Yamanaka store, ever-famous for their flowers.

Why are these impressive ladies standing in front of the hot springs, you ask?

Great question! I don't know. Let's listen and find out, shall we?

So we come closer to the gabbing females to listen to their conversation, and find out they're debating on whether to go in or not.

"C'mon, you guys, it'll be fun!" Sakura proclaimed, hooking arms with Hinata. "The last time Ino and I went together it was relaxing, and god knows you need to relax. Look, I promise that it'll be empty."

"And you can wear a towel, of course," Ino rolled her eyes, "although I myself prefer to go in with just my beautiful skin." Hinata, ever the bashful one, immediately turned an alarming shade of magenta from the collar up.

Tenten coughed lightly into her fist. "Yes, well, we'll wear towels—some people actually have modesty."

Ino dismissed this comment with the wave of her manicured hand. "Come, come, children, let us spent quality girl-time in the delightful hot springs." She and Sakura then pushed the other two inside, chattering about this and that as they went.

The doors slammed shut rather ominously.

Moments later, mortified shrieks and thumps could be heard from inside.

The following silence was yawning.

Seconds later, in a whirlwind of leaves that came out of nowhere, a mass of men appeared. In the middle of them was a squirming young man with piercing onyx eyes and a face to die for. This was our young boy, Uchiha Sasuke. Who seemed to be suffocating in Neji's robes, which was used to gag him (Neji was not happy at this).

"Well, we're here!" Naruto chirped, ever the optimistic one. He paid no heed to the freezingly hostile stares boring into his head—he felt at least one of those a day—instead beckoning them forward into the men's doorway.

"This is it, men. This is your time to prove your manliness—yield your courage in the face of danger and meet it head on! You can do it! Believe it!" Naruto flashed his best rendition of Lee's smile, complete with the wink and thumb's-up sign.

He was met with the chirping of crickets and blank faces.

The breeze that blew by in the loud silence seemed to waver his resolve, and he wilted slightly. With a sigh, Aburame Shino led the way, and the rest followed silently.

Naruto brightened. "Well, at least they went in!" And then he bounced in after them, humming as he went.

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"See, isn't this relaxing?" Ino let out a joyous laugh, sinking in deeper until she was submerged to her chin. She snuck a sly glance at the stiff brunettes of the group.

"I-I-I-It is very relaxing Ino-san!" Hinata replied, back ram-rod straight, eyes unblinkingly forward. She still had a petrified air around her.

Tenten wasn't much better, but was slightly comforted in the fact that she managed to keep the Devilish Duo away from her towel. Hinata wasn't so successful (being surprisingly prone to tickling), and was currently hiding as best as she could in the steamiest part of the hot spring.

"Well, at least it's empty in here." She said, looking around.

"Told you, didn't I?" Sakura grinned, pinning her pink hair up. A splashing on the other side of the fence alerted her of new activity. "Well, on this side, at least."

Hinata stiffened even more.

"C-c-c-company?" Her face drained of any color, and she swayed dangerously.

"Hinata!" Tenten dove to catch her friend, who had begun to slip into the water. "Are you all right?"

Hinata's eyes were swirling. "Ehh?"

"Here, let's get you out before the steam addles your brain. Let's see, where's your towel?" Tenten glanced around before her gaze settled on Sakura and Ino, sitting side by side, looking positively not-innocent.

"Okay, guys. Where's Hinata's towel?"

"Hm, I don't know." Ino said. She turned to her friend. "Do you, Sakura?"

Sakura shrugged, looking clueless. "Nope—no idea."

Tenten sighed. "I guess…I'll have to give her mine. I can't just let her walk around naked." And with great reluctance did the Weapons Mistress loosen her towel's knot, securing it instead on Hinata's limp form.

"That's the way, Tenten!" Ino cheered. "Show off your boobs! Be a woman!"

Ino immediately shrank back in fright as Tenten turned a scary expression on her. "Eep!"

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The boys sat in a stoic silence for a long time. Sasuke, Neji, Shino, Sai, and Shikamaru sat perfectly still, not bothering to waste any ('troublesome') energy. Kiba, Kankurou, and Naruto shifted impatiently.

"Well?" he hissed, plopping a steaming towel on top of his head. "What are you waiting for, chicken-butt?"

"What do you think, dickless?" Sai inquired, smiling amiably.

"GARGH!!" Naruto roared, swiveling to face the artist. "LET ME CLEAR THIS UP ONCE AND FOR ALL! I HAVE A PENIS, ALRIGHT?!? SO STOP CALLING ME 'DICKLESS' YOU ASSHOLE!!"

The silence was deafening.

Overhead, a lone crow cawed_. 'Baka…baka…baka…'_

"…I see." Sai said slowly, the creepily wide smile still stamped on his pale face.

Naruto lowered his fist slowly. "So you finally understand?"

Sai shook his head. "Oh, no. I meant _literally_."

"Ack!" Naruto sunk deep into the water, turning a deep crimson. "S-stop saying weird things, bastard! I'm straight, damn you!"

A slow, smug smirk crept onto Neji's face. "Oh, we believe you, Naruto. You'll have to convince your…other audience that."

"Other…audience?"

"Uh, yeah." Kiba stuck a finger in an ear and winced. "I mean, it's not as if we're in open air right next to the women's baths, stupid. If we're all deaf then they heard you just fine."

"G-guh…" Naruto slumped over. "Not again."

"Enough," Sasuke sighed, "you probably just blew my chances so I'll wait until a more beneficial day comes up. Besides, I have to report to Tsunade-sama soon."

"Oh no you don't, buddy." Kankurou, despite being not much bigger than the Uchiha himself, easily tugged him back in. "You're not truly a man unless you do this."

"You too, Kankurou?" Sasuke groaned. He turned an eye to Shino, who was soaking in the corner of the hot springs. "Shino, you wouldn't mind helping me out, would you?"

"…"

Sasuke sighed. "I thought as much."

"Don't worry, buddy," Kiba gave the young man a quick thump on the back for good luck. "If you get caught then just smile at them."

Sasuke had a hard time comprehending this. "I have to smile at them when they'd probably want to kick my ass to the other side of Konoha and back? How is that supposed to help my situation?"

"Oh, I'm quite sure they don't want to _kick_ your ass," Naruto said cheerfully.

The blond was swiftly whapped on the back of the head.

"OW!!"

"Stop being such a sissy, dobe. Take it like the man you said you were."

"Yes, Naruto-kun," Sai intoned, "although you needn't make a fuss—we're already aware that you are indeed of the male species."

Naruto blanched, the color draining from his face, before turning an unhealthy shade of magenta. "…You…"

"Okay, guys, let's let Uchiha do his thing, alright?" Kankurou interrupted.

"Aye, aye!"

_Bonk_.

"OWIE!!"

"Dobe."

"Idiot."

"Moron."

"Incompetent oaf." Every pair of eyes swiveled to Shino, who was barely distinguishable from the steam. He shrugged.

"I can't believe all of you ganged up on me." Naruto sulked in a dark corner.

"Hey, Uchiha," Shikamaru muttered, sidling up to the Uchiha, "you seriously sure about this? Because I am not about to come and save your ass when you get caught."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow coolly. "Don't you mean 'if' I get caught?"

"Nah. I meant what I said." Shikamaru shrugged nonchalantly. "Eh, whatever. It happens the first try, buddy, so don't try to let it get to you."

"I am not about to get caught staring at naked women like a pervert," Sasuke muttered back at him.

"Yeah? Well, tell that to them when they look up and see a guy watching them bathe. Who knows, you might save yourself from getting too many broken bones."

"Broken bones?" He was immediately wary, ears honing in on the faint voices coming from the other side of the bamboo fence.

"Yeah," Shikamaru sighed, sinking lower. "Maybe you haven't heard it yet, but those voices definitely belong to four of the scariest girls in the village."

"A-aa. Who would that be?"

"Tch. Sakura, Temari, Tenten, and Ino, of course." The tactician said, shaking his head. "Last time I was dragged into a mess like this, Temari only broke my finger. But listen, bones aren't the only things that'll get broken here, Uchiha."

"…"

"You want any pride walkin' out of here then you better leave now."

"'s true." Kiba nodded. "It's unfortunate that those aforementioned ladies are currently here. It's your lucky day, Uchiha. You get to deal with four dangerous women and another whose cousin will have your head on a platter if you so much as think of thinking of anything indecent."

For the first time, Uchiha Sasuke felt a drop of cold sweat roll down his neck.

A splash and innocent laughter rose up from the other side, but to all of the men in the hot springs it was an ominous warning.

"W-well," Naruto gulped, "g-good luck, teme. We'll be hopin' for you back at the hospital."

Slowly, the men filed out somberly, throwing apologetic and pitying glances over their shoulders as they went.

Finally, the doors swung shut, and Sasuke stood there ramrod straight in the center of the springs, eyes wide.

Another giggle sent him hurdling for the far side of the water, clinging at the rocks. He forced himself to pry is white-knuckled fingers from the rock, muttering to himself.

"I am not afraid of some stupid girls. I am not afraid of some stupid girls. I am _not_ afraid of some—" Sasuke clapped his hands over his mouth in shock as an unmanly squeak burst from within when he was startled by another giddy shriek from the other side of the fence.

He sighed.

"This will take awhile."

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Author's Note_: Hey all. Super sorry about the super long wait. I wasn't planning on it at all. You are awesome for keeping with me, seriously. Thanks, guys. _

(*) _Also, I realize now that the birthdays of Sasuke and Naruto are different than in my fic. Sasuke's is supposed to be on July 23__rd__ and Naruto's on October 10__th__. However, when I was writing this I totally bypassed that fact and so…_

…_Aaaanyways._

_--1010'jin_

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